“Autumn, the season that teaches us that change can be beautiful.”
As the mornings grow cooler and the evenings shorter, now is the time to be mindful of living out the remaining months of 2025. While managing your various responsibilities, it is important to care for your mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being.
Most of us encounter challenges in achieving balance. Balancing your personal time may be difficult, especially if you are the main caregiver for a child or adult who has special needs and may require your support. Responsibilities such as a job, a spouse, other children, family and friends can make the thought of achieving balance even more overwhelming. Our families and circumstances can be as varied and as beautiful as the colors of the falling leaves.
Hmmm... What is mindfulness? How do we manage our daily schedule and include brief moments of mindfulness? How does it help to be mindful?
Mindfulness — allowing yourself to think, feel, and embrace your surroundings, without judgment — helps you to manage stress and depression and live in the moment.
As a caregiver or parent of a child with disabilities, there is always something to plan for or to think about: school, Individual Education Program (IEP) meetings, teacher conferences, evaluations, doctor visits, medications, teaching self-help skills, helping your child develop independence, adequate childcare, finances, behavior support, job skill training for the maturing child, etc. Therefore, self-care for you is critical to your well-being and that of your child.
During the pandemic, I worked virtually from home for an entire school year, assisting parents of children who received special education services in my school district’s elementary, middle, and high schools. These emails and phone calls were nonstop. Parents were seeking all types of help with schoolwork, behavior issues, activities to keep their children engaged, and sometimes they just needed to talk with another parent. Meanwhile, my adult daughter, who has autism and was accustomed to attending a day program, was at home with me. For various reasons, her hired caregiver was not working during this time.
By the end of each day, I was exhausted physically and mentally. I realized that I needed to make room for myself, to quiet my mind, and to take better care of my well-being. My child’s care and health depend on me taking care of myself.
Parents I talk with usually say that they can’t find time for themselves. It must be intentional, and you must start by doing everything mindfully.
As the season changes and the leaves change colors, here are some small changes you can make with you in mind:
- Be grateful — When you get up in the morning, think of at least one thing that you are thankful for.
One positive thought can boost your attitude and influence the rest of your day. Despite all of the things that can go wrong, there is always something to be thankful for.
Breathe. Wake up five minutes early to practice deep breathing. Deep breathing has several benefits; it can help decrease stress, anxiety, and depression. It may increase your energy, help you to sleep better, increase cognitive ability, reduce your blood pressure, and help you to relax.
YouTube and Google have short videos to teach you how to breathe deeply. One of my favorites is the 4-7-8 method. Once I wake my daughter up for her morning routine, things can get hectic. Deep breathing helps me stay calm and relaxed, even when things don’t go as planned.
As you become familiar with breathing, you can practice it any time and anywhere. I usually do it while I’m waiting for my doctor to enter the exam room, having blood drawn, sitting in traffic, and even while driving.
Some additional practices to consider:
- Pray: If you are a believer in prayer, make time for it. It can be done anytime, anywhere, silently or aloud, and requires no specific length or method. Prayer helps to relieve stress and release thoughts that you may be holding inside. Over the years, I have enjoyed writing my prayers as a way of monitoring progress.
- Appreciate Nature: Enjoy your surroundings. When you open your windows to let the morning in, take a moment to look at the sky, trees, flowers, rivers, creeks, lakes, butterflies, ducks, and surroundings. Pay attention to the sounds of birds chirping, wind blowing, lawn mowers, and the many other sounds we take for granted. While driving and waiting for the lights to change, take notice of the trees, sky, and beauty that surrounds you. It will decrease stress, and the light won't seem as long.
- Enjoy music: While I am cooking, cleaning, or helping my daughter, I turn on music. Sometimes, we listen to the elegance of the piano and classical music; other times, it's rhythm and blues, slow ballads, rock and roll, and even disco. Classical music and ballads relax us, while dance music energizes and relieves stress.
Walk: Even while you are waiting for your child's school bus to arrive, you can walk back and forth on the sidewalk. Sometimes, I walk up and down our stairs several times and from room to room, just to get a bit of exercise. Walk with your child in the neighborhood for exercise and to become familiar with your neighborhood.
Drink Water: In addition to keeping you hydrated, water improves brain function. It helps to keep your limbs lubricated and flushes body waste. There are apps that you can download to remind you to drink water throughout the day.
Forgive mistakes: Let go of bad thoughts and things that are not good for you or are a waste of your time. Forgive yourself for mishaps and be gentle with yourself. Know you're doing the best you can, and your actions and efforts will pay off.
"God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace." Amen
Enjoy the enchanting beauty of Autumn.
With hugs and love, Jackie
Jackie McNair and her husband are parents of a 29-year-old daughter who lives with autism and an intellectual disability, and a 31-year-old son. She coaches and trains parents in creating meaningful life plans by establishing successful transition plans for school children with disabilities into adult life. More about Jackie on Substack Newsletter, Beyond the IEP, at substack.com/@beyondtheiep
Small, intentional steps — being grateful, breathing, moving, hydrating, forgiving yourself, and noticing nature — can help you live more purposefully this autumn. Take the season's change as an invitation to slow down and cultivate moments of calm and joy in your daily life.